Celluloid Dreams

One last time

2011-11-17T14:55:00.000-08:00

Do not love me

For love has consequences that you may not like

Do not love me

If your love is hesitant

If your love is afraid

Afraid to be buried under a wintry snow

Or scorched by the summer

You say you love me

Does the love disappear when everything is gone?

You say you love me

As much as the song bird that loves the song

And the music that the wind carries in its soul

Would you love the music if the wind swept off everything else?

Do you love like the cicada

Which cries for its mate with crimson eyes?

And in the process

Burns itself out with passion

You ask me why I am this way

And in vain I try to conjure

A million words to explain

That which is so simple

But I will try one last time.

Do you know what it is to love?

What it is to love with burning passion?

Do you know what it is to carry the flame?

Do you know what it is like

When there is no one else to share the fire?

Do you know what it’s like

To keep the flame all to yourself

Till there is no choice

But to burn yourself out?

Snowblind

2010-12-09T04:11:00.000-08:00

I've waited enough for the winter of your eyes

to cajole me into a white slumber

that would not melt away

you know I've waited,and abated

the urge to spiral

downward into the whirlwind of your toxic promises

I've let the moments slip through my fingers

dissolve in the rain and trickle down

the alleys of those winter eyes

in which I am forever lost

so that they freeze for eternity

drop by drop,

till they form a curtain of snow

to cover the trees of those promises

so that i am blinded by the snow

and not see that the trees had shed

all the leaves of hope

long ago

when your eyes first met me

walk with me

2010-11-30T23:19:00.000-08:00

sweet child of the forest

angel of the night

walk with me

on streets of diabolical dreams

forget all the promises

the vulgar melodrama

when the stage is empty

and the curtains are down

we will pick up the broken violin

and weave our incandescent future

out of a forgotten tune

LOOKING FOR BLOOD

2010-11-27T15:47:00.001-08:00

listen to the chants of mirrors

ere the drop of blood shatters it

blood that bites the edge of the glass

blood that cuts the edge of a shard

blood that flows through the veins of desire

blood that flares up in your fire

blood that wets your dreams at night

blood that shivers on the glean of a knife

blood that bleeds your eyes at dawn

blood that splashes your soul at dusk

blood that you sip when you're making love

blood that you scratch lost in mire

blood that you scar ripping the skin

blood that dissolves the fire of desire

blood that trickles down your lonely walls

blood that you smell sitting in your lonely hall

blood that streaks across the skies

blood that clouds the moon with red

blood that glints in the eye of the bride

blood that shimmers when you are half past dead

blood that tries to warm the heart

the old, cold heart, bereft

of warmth since the ages of Thoth

blood that stains the winter's snow

trail of blood that follows you home

Unborn letter

2010-06-13T10:26:00.000-07:00

All the unwritten letters in my head

Leave my heart cold.

Wish i could make a bonfire out of them;

Maybe that will give some warmth.

I don't know why I don't write them.

Maybe because I fear;

Fear that you will not care

To read between the lines.

Or maybe i fear;

Fear that you are too busy

To savour a little bit of idleness.

What good will it be?

It won't give you usefulness,

nor function, nor fruition.

But i still hope

That oneday i will write them.

I still hope;

Hope like an incessant stream,

Almost trickling,

But never quite drying out.

I still hope that maybe,

Against the current,

It will just somhow manage

To reach the void in your heart;

Which, i hope, is still there.

That maybe you will still

Allow a teardrop of tenderness

To fall from the page

Onto your soul.

Madness

2010-04-30T22:43:00.000-07:00

Let us be madmen,
Because sanity sells its flesh on the streets.

Let us be mad,
Because reason usurps even the last morsel
From the orphans' mouth,
To drape its gilded palaces
With the glitter of inanimate metals.

Let us be mad
And talk to the walls at night,
Because the ears of sanity,
Hear only the jingle of coins
And the applause of the herd.

Let us be mad
And ravage through the sands of time
To discover a forgotten tune,
Because reason will only throw the sand
Into the eyes of those
Who dare to peep into its soul.

Let us be mad,
But let us not forget to pin our hopes
Onto the walls of tomorrow,
As reason will only use the pins
To puncture those hearts
That still beat,
That still bleed.

Dusk

2010-04-30T22:42:00.000-07:00

Flakes of evening grey
Float into my dusty room
And, for a shallow while
Make it their home.
Till the emaciated sun
Breathes its last,
Having found peace,
At last.

And for this lonely while
Nothing suffices,
Not words,
Nor music,
Nor images.
Only me
And, this surreal dusk
Sit lonely,
For a while.

Seeing You

2010-04-30T22:40:00.000-07:00

Seeing you, I see,
What Adam beheld,
In Eve.
The placidity of a lake,
The turmoil of seven seas.
Now I wait,
On the shores of eternity,
As waves from you,
Wash over me.

Mary Jane

2010-04-22T03:04:00.001-07:00

Long have you been my muse

But its time to depart

And return to the path.

You led me

To every unfurling of sorrow's joy.

Mystic, like a mythic boat,

Luminous divinity in every vein,

The searing seer, tearing through life.

You filled the abyss with your void,

You built my dreams, gave me voice.

But there was a price to pay

The smirk was too graceful to realise.

The lithe in every music's lilt,

The cosmos in a morning dew.

Enigma in every particle,

Eternity in an ephemeral flash.

Alternating between realities,

Mind awakening in deep sleep.

Senses not making sense,

Cocoon exploding, consuming itself.

A grain of sand fulfilling every need,

Every breath, every goal, all my soul.

Like a misty lover you embraced,

Hovering space in every while,

Crumbling time, no reason, only rhyme.

Between the pages of dawn and dusk

You led my mind's exodus.

As high as the fall was deep,

No shame or guilt in new territory.

Pride against humility in every strife,

While the world was left naked behind.

Alone again, my sweet Mary Jane.

But I am scared no more nor afraid of the game.

You taught me to watch, not to run,

But also asunder you sent my mind.

It took a while to collect the pieces,

My life I renew, goodbye my friend.

Dawn

2010-04-20T22:27:00.000-07:00

The preconceived dawn arrives,
Shredding hopes,
Slicing dreams.
Resplendant under the visage of avarice.

Beauty is left flickering
In the eye of a brooding leopard.
Dawn has gone blind,
Just salivates for the lie.

The mind is dry as bones,
Doesn't even look for a cure.
Cobwebs of the soul
Have million holes.

The earth, it wants to leave,
Wanton whoring, capricious greed.
Even the shadow of the moon
Is better than this.

Agony hates itself,
Too proud to call for help.
Trees are felled
For books that aren't read.

Nothing is ever enough.

Hearts don't skip a beat,
When violins lose their strings
And birds no longer sing.

Daily dose of sleep
And a pill to digest sin.
Neon sky sheds it light, and
Embraces the void with a smile.

Bad hearts devour mad hearts.

the forest and the sea

2009-03-04T10:40:00.001-08:00

our adjectives are different
you like the shore
edges meet there, singularity
i like the forest
it captures the wilderness
that escapes from you

you build your bonfire on the shore
and every once in a while
the wind scatters burnt embers from your fire
and sets ablaze the forest

under the languid clouds and effervescent sky
each time the sea douses the fire
each time the forest grows again

i

2009-03-03T14:18:00.000-08:00

Psycho-somatic analysis of meta-stable equilibrium
Forces intersecting with disproportionate delirium
The curve of 2 dimensional thoughts
Extrapolates to infinite oblivion.
Lost in a labyrinth, a maze without doors
Walking along with ionsomniac shadows
Everything equals square-root of minus one.

your heart to keep

2009-03-03T12:02:00.001-08:00

nobody bleeds
cause the rivers have run dry
the fishes swim aimlessly in the night
sleep has one eye on the television
only your heart catapults into my soul
someday i will not look into the mirror
someday i will burn the pages of my reason
someday the moon will echo only the only the songs of dust
till then i will preserve your heart

TGIF

2009-03-03T11:46:00.000-08:00

friday night and you're waiting to be saved
end of your line end of all the games you played
the tides of men that wash all the towns
leave just crabs and bottles crawling on the ground
you don't even hear but you can't drown all the sounds

all the roads that used to take you home
are slippery now moss on stones
you couldn't care you were just a nigger on the loose
you weren't a beggar and you couldn't choose
you lost your nerve when there was nothing else to lose

living in two worlds feigning all your sins
you hold on to the cord that binds you to your dreams
too wounded to pray there's nothing here to take
you try to stay awake but what difference does it make
the perilous edge of town is the only place that's safe

dance of the fairies

2009-03-03T11:43:00.000-08:00

we all do what we do
and in the end there is the madness

the streets are hungry as ever
the crowds burn the effigies of venerated axioms
streams of spit and malice make the air humid
the walruses choke their cries
as the palaces burn with the stench of sad cucumbers

you came here for this?
to swim in rivulets spilling over with tadpoles
once there were the voices
but now they scratch against the empty innards
of a philistines pride
while she waits in the octopuses' lair
and in the rows of boxes with an universe inside each
where the gypsies live

the birds cry out to you tonight
maybe their last cries before their beaks are smashed
against the rueful morning clocks
the pollen in their eyes carry the blame
distilled from persecuted truths
fairies dance on the edges of teacups

what boredom
even the hour hides its excruciating nakedness
the mad bull rips all the fat skirts
and pays a scatological tribute
to the lord of deceit
and the smell of a drugged jasmine stings the skin
lofty serenades of the fiddle that broke probably ruined your head
and your arboreal soul

i peel off eyelids of molasses
and wake sleeping hyenas
their pinhead laughter
pierce termite infested hearts

icicles of rain peel off violent skin
treachery of the night and its endangered name
pigeons hold on to their skeletons with moons in their beaks
ninjas fall off dead in the gloominess of murky shadows
bald temples with their gilded idols
endure time by drinking tea

searing, buzzing screaming night
only the sad song sitting on your shoulder
can soothe the frayed ends of its madness
the edges of rooftops quiver in that song
and the colour of a dark whisper splashing in your ear

cries wash up against the sky
and rain down on the cemetery
that the child carries in his eye
and the weight of the sky on his shoulders
he doesn't shrug

the seasons and their toxic promises
a spoonful of honey
and the rest is fasting
only the cannibals survive
on the apples of a million eyes
and ants that eat into the moon

fairies dance on the edges of teacups

is it so?

2009-03-03T11:42:00.000-08:00

you had the last laugh
you had the farthest grasp
you did well for yourself
or is it so?
the fire's curse didn't touch you
the violin strings didn't cut your brain in two
frosty stars & you thought you were safe
but is it so?

words

2009-03-03T11:37:00.000-08:00

sulphur breath of gray automobiles
petrified dogs n clocks
the ice that falls from her eyes
can it be broken
by the mere dereliction of words ?

she

2009-03-03T11:31:00.001-08:00

sweet smell of a wasted tomorrow lingered in her air
as if phosphor was her only element
only fields of the here and now were her abode in a wooden earth
fields where the women told tales of burning irises
the mistress of blood
she weeps off all her vulnerability

smokey back alleys
slither under her skin
and make promises of a painless birth
she drinks the blindness and all the fallacies
the bleeding hours slip through her fingers
and fall like drops of green
the lampshades of her eyebrows
crowns the pages of every postmodern tale
hibiscus of her hips echo paradoxes
of subverted greek philosophies

now that you wrap your songs with tears
and paint pictures all afternoon
to hang upside down
you always have the boatman waiting for you
to ferry you across the petals of the stars
you pick one to pay him
but he will accept only the burning embers of your hair
and slay ten thousand firestorms
to lull you to sleep

soulless

2009-03-03T11:27:00.000-08:00

its futile
the way wounded archers shoot their arrows
at the drunken moon
the night devours those who devour themselves
and the rest turn and toss
in their pillows of green desire

these days roses shout their names
these days faces are made of newspapers
and everyone wears a necklace of tongues
only tongues are blind
blind as the chrome of dessicated desires

those who climb the rainbow
eat red and the shiver of vertigos
out of the same plate of sky
as wounded urchins

all the dawns curl up inside themselves
when snakes melt away from bodies
everything false
everything falls

uncertainty principle

2009-03-03T11:26:00.001-08:00

my oesophagus is good
atleast it does what it shoud
so does my tongue
my tastebuds and my gums

i dont have a pantry in my car
but i have a box of castro's cigar
they say he was a shrewd man
but they also say madonna's a nun

there were three stars in the sky
one burst, the others said bye
supernovas and black holes
distill into my soul

dont think twice its all right
dylan sang while bashing his wife
everyone sings some time or the other
everyone beats his wife or his brother

some scum named heisenberg said
maybe you are not a particle but a wave
when you are a wave you are high
a grain of dust, a blink of an eye

beggar

2008-03-27T16:40:00.000-07:00

give me a hand
that stretched out in earnest
has not become a razor's edge
give me a word
that says more
than the annals of red history
give me a laugh
that surges unbridled like the tide
pregnant with joy
running parallel we cannot yet meet
theres miles to go for the sake of our creed
someday there won't be be a train to board
till then our little failings, our little needs

Lunar Autopsy

2007-10-16T12:24:00.000-07:00

Under a pagan moon
Vivisection,
The scalpel's cold incision
Into my rotting wounds.

Symphony of cursed souls
Slice the womb of night
And, the bronze God sits,
Cold and alone.

Lizard on the cross,
Christ on the wall.
In the ashes
Lepper messiahs crawl.

Obey the curse,
Burn the cross.

Our Celluloid Dreams

2007-10-16T12:23:00.000-07:00

The music of the spheres, deceptive,
Like all these hollow years
But only because its halloweth timbre
Is too subtle for our ears.

Even the ethreal glow of the moon
Cannot sanctify our rooms,
Because we are too busy
Indulging in wanton misery.

The cancer spreads its wings
Into our celluloid dreams,
And all we do is give plastic smiles
To while away our time.

The Thin Red Line

2007-10-16T12:21:00.000-07:00

Bounded by the thin red line
Shadows weep and steal my mind,
A million eyes pour into my soul
Fragmented, I try to grasp the whole
Obscure days and the nights swallow me.

The Ordeal Of Albert Camus

2007-10-16T12:20:00.000-07:00

Everyday
I repudiate the claim
Of what I am supposed to be.
Everyday
I negate all the reasons
That you can throw at me.

Endlessly,
I try to seek who I am;
But all the hows and whys
Remain elusive,
Cannot define my form.

On existentialism and nihilism
While the drunken masses feed,
There's no respite from my grief.
But in the end it's only nothingness
That gives me relief.

So nights I prowl the empty streets,
Trudge sidewalks paved with blood.
Empty thoughts, empty deeds,
Too many shadows on the wall...
Too many empty promises to keep.

The pen it loathes my obscure verse,
Meaningless scratches on scrolls.
Seasons change,
Pages turn,
And it all boils down to nothing at all.

Suicide

2007-10-16T12:18:00.002-07:00

In the eerie silence of the night
The poem commits suicide.
Only fatal thoughts remain
And dreams, soaking in the rain...
Darkness blinding your eye.

Solitude

2007-10-16T12:18:00.001-07:00

Lurking along the night's periphery
I came across unwanted truths.
Under the doleful sky weeping
The narcissist moon smirking
Dreams burning
The earth's machinery turning
Empty streets reek of decomposed solitude.

Silver

2007-10-16T12:17:00.001-07:00

Under the cotton clouds
Amidst the paper flowers that bloom,
You and I,
We steal the night.
You and I,
We eat the sky
And spit out the silver moon.

Flying In A Blue Dream (with regards to Satch)

2007-10-16T12:13:00.000-07:00

Flying In A Blue Dream
(with due regards to Joe Satriani)

Between the earth and the stars
Hallucinates the sky,
As lover's gaze
Turns every stranger's eyes.
And vanishes silently
The mind's I.

Between the moon and its reflection
Creeps in the night
As the languid water
Unfurls its echoes.

Between the object and the gaze
Wallows the lazy hours,
As clay hands try
To pick a grain of sand.

Between the cloak and the dagger
The killer's frozen arms do not move;
Now it matters little
What he is supposed to do.

Between the hammer and the anvil
The metal turns cold,
Only the skull cracks
After the blow.

Blue pills,
Smoke rings,
cheap thrills,
Still not getting the glimpse.

Consequential Overdrive

2007-10-16T12:12:00.000-07:00

Pocketful of universes
For us to create and destroy,
Dust turns to ashes
Before we utter a cry.

No place to hide, from the consequential overdrive.

Lost highways of dawn overgrown with sullen abandon.
A bitter harvest, a sweet death, a bitter illusion.

Death, sadness,
Tragedy, madness,
The stars, our tears,
Love, fears.

We're sad again
My sweet mary jane.

I suffer
Therefore I am.

Black

2007-10-16T12:03:00.000-07:00

So many times, drifting in and out of loneliness
I have woken up in your dreams.
I have stared at the walls so long
That they have collapsed on my thoughts.
And trying to salvage them
From underneath the debris,
I have stumbled upon
Remnants of your discarded whispers
And collected them,
To adorn the passages of my mind.

Everyday
I have consumed black.
Injected it, inhaled it, exalted it.
With the shadows i have embraced it.
The rain trickled with the sadness
Of your parting smile,
And the dampness wet my dreams.
In that infantile hour, time revealed its agony
Healing every sorrow, its own wounds wide open.